pink cookies in a plastic bag getting crushed by buildings...

i poo poo'd SeriouslyAWESOME when he started posting screen caps of his Game Summaries. i made him promise that one screencap upload a week was his limit. when vertigoAnton joined in, i rolled my eyes. here we go i thought, here's another navel glazing blog. "great," i said under my breathe. how could we establish an objective, hard hitting blog about the amazing minutia and vast wonders of the COD:MW2 game culture if all we end up doing is sucking our own cocks?

well, here we are.

yep, read em' and weep boys. you read that correctly, 22 - zip. if vertigoAnton wasn't there on my team to witness it, even if i told myself in a afternoon dream after some really good Hurry Curry that i just ripped trough a 22-0 game...well, i would call myself a fucking liar and tell myself to wake up from my stupid dream. well suck it self, i got pics to prove the momentous occasion!

Team Death Match Express, Wasteland, Scavenger Pro, Cold Blooded, and Ninja Pro. a single 1887 as my secondary that never once saw the day of light. FMJ riding on My Wife, the EBR, since i wasn't using Stopping Power. started the match WAY slow with not getting my first kill until a full minute must have past. normally i get bored and just start running into into the death trap tunnels and get blown away after killing someone. for some reason, this time enemies kept trying to creep around corners where i could easily pick them off one by one from the edge of the map and i never had a chance to get bored and bore down the center. there was absolutely no rhyme, reason, or stra'tegery to it.

i got in the zone and once that 5 killstreak popped for my Predator, IMMEDIATELY i dropped to my belly and let that fucker fly for another kill. one away from my Harrier and vertigoAnton outright STEALS an easy kill from me. this schlub careens out of one of the death trap tunnels square right into my crosshairs before he picks him off before i can. which is fine since i'll collect my stolen kills in deaths from him six fold. but back to my torrid story, i get another kill and unleash hot Harrier death upon the other team. i swear, i have NEVER gotten so many kills so fast and my Pave Low was out at the same time literally with my Harrier. so on one end of the map: Hot Harrier Death. on the other side of the map: my EBR of Murderous Mayhem. the sweet, delicious cherry on top? my Pave Low circling around to cover any uncovered terrain raining sexy death upon my enemies who've sworn to kill me at all cost.

Priceless.

Stepping outside the world of Call of Duty

Since the release of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, I have not played much of anything else. I have played a little bit of Assassin's Creed 2, but despite how great the game is, I always find myself going back to COD. I normally go through phases where I play one game, and one game only. Before the release of the new COD, Killzone 2 was my FPS fixation. Despite how great KZ2 was, I needed something new and moved onto COD. After months of COD, I find myself looking for something new once again.

I recently downloaded the demo to Battlefield: Bad Company 2. Although both games are essentially the same genre, it is a completely different game. Battlefield supports up to 24 players and features bigger maps. It is also very focused on air and ground vehicles. The graphics are not nearly as detailed as CODs, but its mainly due to the higher amount of players, bigger maps, and destructible environments.

The way the game controls is completely different, from the aiming to the way the character moves. One of the great things about the COD is its accessibility. COD allows players, or "noobs," to jump right in without being too intimidating.

Battlefield is a little more intimidating due to the size of the maps, the vehicles and the objectives. Vehicles take time to master. The game is also heavily team-based. One person cannot simply win a match for a team. A bad thing, which can also be seen as a good thing to others, is that COD does not encourage team work. One man can simply dominate a game and win a match for an entire team. Heck, my team can be losing an objective-based game type, and if I obtain a 25 kill-streak...its a victory of my team.

One thing I have noticed by playing other online FPSs, is how much I appreciate the smoothness and feel of COD. I may not be swept off my feet with Battlefield, but I definitely enjoy the change of pace.

Next up on my list is MAG, however, I have a strong feeling that I will continue to go back to COD time and time again.

RPG FTW

"Big-ass titties!" - Danny McBride in Tropic Thunder as he sets off explosions

So I unlocked the RPG the other night and decided to give it a go after seeing this montage from SandyRavage:



You know the satisfaction of blowing fools up with the noob tube? Well, multiply that by 10 with the RPG. I don't know what it is - perhaps the weapon reminds me of 80s movies in which you see an RPG - like Red Dawn or Rambo: First Blood Part II There's just something pimpy about seeing that trail of smoke as the projectile flies all the way across the map. So I started using it a couple of nights ago and I've now racked up 77 kills with that bad boy. I realize this may not be a huge number compared to someone like SeriouslyAWESOME or OMAGIC77, but with my skill level, not bad for the first couple of nights.

There was this one Team Deathmatch game in Sub Base when I was giggling all to myself like a junior high school girl gossiping with her friends at lunch. I was getting owned in the beginning of the match, but them multi-kills just kept on coming. There were a few guys who INSISTED on running behind riot shield dude. And as they walked down death row, I was chillin' by the top of of the doorway an blasted those fools. Double kill here, triple kill there. So immensely satisfying. I ended up with a decent 17-10. Not bad since I was running around mostly with a secondary weapon with only 2 rounds (Scavenger Pro enabled, though) Sometimes I get killed while the rocket is mid-flight, but I'd still kill the guy. I'll trade 1-for-1, especially when there's a chance of a multi-kill.

And I'll tell you this much - you can use this on ANY map. The larger maps like Derail and Afghan are a challenge because the rocket seems to veer off at longer distances, but it makes long distance kills that much more satisfying. On small maps like Skid Row and High Rise, it's so fun to just shoot into a crowded room.

Now what I want to know is if there's haterdom out there for this weapon. I mean, how is this any better than noob tubing? Maybe it isn't but I just don't really hear people talk shit about the RPG. Is it because you can't hipfire it? Perhaps actually having to aim suggests that it's not as noobish?

Consistently Inconsistent

I thought I was going into the weekend with some confidence. I had a good 27-3 match late in the week and thought momentum would carry me through to some dominating matches. But like my jump shot, I can't maintain any real consistency. I'll get the hot hand one game and the next one, I'm better off passing the rock. But that shouldn't take away from some downright filthy (and in the good way) games I threw down this weekend.

Check out what I posted in Underpass on Friday afternoon:



Sorry the image isn't really straight. I was so excited and rushed to take the pic before intermission ended or the lobby closed due to shitty hosting or whatever. But can you believe that?! 24-1?! I was pitching a perfect game until the waning seconds of the match when SubjectMATT picked me off. I was shooting at him too! I did spend a good chunk of time in a room w/ a bunch of windows (camping, really) while my air support was up, but I was able to hit a few guys outside and got some lucky kills via claymore from people insisting on going into my building, either for cover or to come after me. But camping or not, the numbers are what they are and the killstreak in my barracks say 24. I was running a Pave Low so I DID kill someone with my own hand BEFORE the Pave Low did its work, guaranteeing that I avoided the bug.

I also was able to represent to the fullest with a 21-1 game this weekend thanks to my air support in Quarry. But to be fair, these were the highlights. Most of my games hovered in the 1:1 k/d ratio and in the low double-digits. And there were probably some games where I crapped myself too.

I suppose I could probably get better with my consistency if I just stuck to the same class every game. But I don't know, I like trying out new shit. Like I'll run around w/ Akimbo mini-Uzis or try using a Thumper as a secondary weapon. I just unlocked the RPG so I might mess around with that for a bit, especially after seeing fools blow shit up from all the way across the map.

More and more, playing COD is like golf. You can hook and slice your drives and approaches and you can 3-putt get get snowmen on a par 3 all day long, but all it takes it that nice and straight tee shot right down the fairway, or that one approach that lands 1.5 ft away from the pin, or that one 30-ft putt to make the day worth it. I think that 24-1 match is my hole in one. Consistency who?

SeriouslyAWESOME's seriously awesome weekend stats

 Derail - Domination

You know those games when you know your team is in trouble in the first few minutes.  In a matter of minutes, A and B were taken, and shortly after I caputured C it was gone. SeriouslyAWESOME's teammates were just running around with no purpose but to just camp in the two-story building. At that point SeriouslyAWESOME realized he must do it all himself and win this game. AND HE DID!

SeriouslyAWESOME's team was 6 points away from a loss but SeriouslyAWESOME came through in Seriously Awesome fashion. Nothing is better then getting a Nuke when your team is down and out.


 Wasteland - Domination

Another COD highlight was on Wasteland. SeriouslyAWESOME, muy-guapo and Macpito were in a closely contested match that ended 200-198. SeriouslyAWESOME would like to give props to muy_guapo for his 19-10 effort. He still kicked-ass despite playing higher ranked players.

all around the world today, the kilo is the measure...

the blessed day came so fast, i hardly had time to exhale. it might have came over the wee hours of Sunday morning, i'm not quite sure. all i have is a murky recollection of my screen flashing "Ghillies in the Mist" after drilling macpito in the face. so after a full week with the EBR and 364 confirmed Kills i now walk around proudly in my Chewbacca suit. damn it feels good to be a gangster.

by all accounts i think i "turned the corner" as vertigoanton would say around the end of the week sometime when i tallied 26 kills in one match. while breaking the double digit kill mean is good, but not great; breaking through the arduous 20 kill mean is simply heroic. dropping 20 on the enemy means you did work son. another signal i've become very comfortable with the EBR is the 3 Pave Lows i was able to call in this weekend which i haven't regularly seen in my airspace during matches since my ACR Knife Monkey days. as a cherry on top moment over the weekend, i was awarded a killer Kill Cam of me on Quarry camping on top of the tallest red building picking off an enemy running east west. BAM! Sexy Camper has ARRIVED!

I See You

As difficult as it was to grow accustomed to the fine motor skills required to perform well at the glory that is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, I struggled most with quickly locating and identifying enemies. Unless they were right in front of me, I had a difficult time determining if this small dark blotch on the screen was something that I should shoot at. Of course, by the time I made the decision to pull the trigger, then I was dead. This is why I absolutely LOATHED the Underpass map. It was raining and murky and I couldn't see shit. Over time, I got a little bit better spotting enemies and while my aim was still shoddy, at least I knew that I was supposed to be shooting at it.

About a month passes and I had an epiphany. I turned on my Sony 37" Bravia XBR and immediately went into the setup options. Now for anyone that has purchased a TV in the last few years, you know there are various default color/picture settings as well as the option for adjusting your own - kind of like the classes in the game. To my dismay and embarrassment, I noticed that my picture settings for that HDMI input were set to "Cinema" which actually makes the images DARKER. On top of that, I had not enabled the "Game" setting, which supposedly optimizes the image for gaming.

So for an entire month, I was at a disadvantage. Of course I'm using incorrect settings as an excuse. Why? Because once I had changed these settings, I started seeing everything better. On Wasteland, figures seemed more defined as they run up and down the rolling terrain. Figures began to take a bit more shape in windows now. Underpass still sucks but it's much better now. And as a bonus, my eyes aren't straining so much anymore.

I can't help but wonder if I could've improved at a quicker rate IF my setup was optimized in the beginning. I mean, I had been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum (a game I swore I would finish before starting another game - until Dave got me COD:MW2 for my birthday) and I just figured it SHOULD look dark. And now that the image is crisp and clear, I'm like Jake Sully to Neytiri, "I See You....beeyotch!"

Best Kill Streak Combo?

One of the best things about playing Modern Warfare 2, besides creating holes with my knife in the back of SeriouslyAWESOME, is being able to customize your player. I love being able to select my weapons and perks based on the map and game we are playing. One thing I've been experimenting with are my kill streaks. I'm trying to find the best possible combo to give me the maximum amount of kills in the quickest amount of time. I tried using the Hardline Perk (Killstreaks require 1 less kill), but I found that Lightweight, Stopping Power, and Cold-Blooded are far more valuable.

My current steak combo I use is Predator Missile (5 Kills) to Attack Helicopter (7 Kills) to AC-130 (11 Kills). I'm not in the realm of getting a Nuke yet (25 Kills) so I think this may be the best combo for me. Not sure sure if the Stealth Bomber, Chopper Gunner, or Pave Low will be any better. I have trouble controlling the Chopper Gunner and it's sometimes hard for me to get from the Predator Missile to the Pave Low (9 Kills) without some asswipe camper jumping me from behind like Muy_Guapo at a rainbow parade. Any suggestions on combo kill streaks you use that doesn't involve the nuke?

send in the clowns...

14 - 6 in Estate! started out the match 10 nil before ironically getting Knife Monkey'd in the back of the neck. silly me paroozing around up on the hill near the Boat house with a fellow Russian Terrorist; i felt safe enough to to scope out the house with my new ACOG and get some cheap kills. the Kill Cam showed the Knife Monkey came rushing from behind and we never had a chance. bastard must have had Ninja Pro on because i usually hear them coming...that's a LIE, i never hear them coming.

sad thing is, this isn't the first time i've been stuck at 10 nil itching to get that 11th Kill for my Chopper on Estate to start off the match. last week with the veritable vertigoanton on my team, i began a match on Estate 10 nil while rocking the solid ACR on my hip. as soon as i got that 10th Kill w/ the Harrier i became simply giddy with excitement just tasting that Chopper Gunner on the edge on my lips. then some fucker shoots down my Harrier. great i think, now i have to do this the old fashioned way. but with the anticipation of finally seeing a Chopper Gunner in action, my BALLS shrank. they shrank to the size of SeriouslyAWESOME's brain, roughly the size peanuts. i became that pussy that crawls around the edges of the map looking to flank someone, anyone! i need this 11th Kill bad mang, i can taste this!

BAM! shot in the face for playing it "safe" as it were. lesson learned, always dance with the girl you game to the Jr. Prom with. no matter how ugly she is, she got you where you're at. i should have KEPT Knife Monkey'ing, KEPT playing with reckless abandon, and KEPT the virtual wind to my back. Conservatives only end up getting shot by Dick Cheney in the face.

So last night, after getting so close to my 11th Kill in a row again i threw ALL caution into the wind...and i get Knife Monkey'd in the back of the neck. Right after the match i switched back to the Pave Low. Fuck tiramisu, i'll just stick to Cupcakes.

Turning the Corner

The last couple of days, a friend from NY has been crashing at my pad while he does some 1st Assistant Camera work on an indie feature film shooting out here. This means my QT w/ the trusty ol' PS3 has been severely diminished this week. And while I've been sleeping at a decent hour, I have been going through some withdrawals.

And yesterday and today, I figured I start my morning off with a few games. I was apprehensive of this at first - seeing as it usually takes me a game and a half or so to get warmed up. And why would I want the depression of getting continually raped BEFORE I start work? But something strange happened. I actually played BETTER than I do at night! You know how some pitchers end up pitching better during day games vs. night games or how someone like Brett Favre (towards whom I have much, much hatred) always seems to play his best games on a Monday night? Well, that's me over the last 2 mornings.

Earlier today marked probably my BEST COD game EVER. I was playing Team Deathmatch in Sub Base using my "Daily Special" class - ACR w/ holographic sight, akimbo .44 magnums, scavenger pro, stopping power pro, and ninja pro, with claymores and stuns. I had the 5-7-9 killstreak rewards setup - predator, harrier, pave low. Now I've read that there's a bug with Pave Lows where its kills do NOT count towards your killstreak UNLESS you get a kill with your weapon BEFORE the Pave Low gets a kill. Now I don't really care too much about killstreaks right now, I just want to get a decent score with minimal deaths.

Boy did I ever. I posted a 27-3 thanks to air support that just RAPED in that game. I guess the other team didn't have any anti-air folks and my harrier actually stayed up for more than 4-5 kills. Unfortunately, I got caught just chillin' letting my harrier work and I got knifed. But not before I got the Pave Low! I waited for my harrier to get destroyed and then I called it in. Holy crap! I've never seen so many "+100"s show up on my screen in such a short amount of time.

I was very apprehensive about going with a 5-7-9 killstreak setup at first because I usually can't compile killstreaks like those. I used to roll with a UAV, predator missile and a precision air strike. Because at least I'd get some points by calling in a UAV. But I'm finding the new set up isn't as impossible as I thought.

So there you have it - my own PR in COD. [side note: How lame is it that I'm actually proud of an achievement in a freakin' video game?!]

half way home and my pager still blowing up...

and last night clocked in as the third with my new friend, the M21-EBR (even though i was rudely corrected by Ned Flanders of it's correct name, i refuse to call it anything but what it's called in the game). the more time i spend with it, the more i feel i truly am becoming a Sexy Camper. this was the first time i spent more than 5 minutes in one spot than i have ever in the game. the second floor of one of the spawning buildings in Scrapyard was nice and cozy for me. as soon as i found my new home, i knew i'd love it. right off the bat i immediately started redecorating by spiking a claymore adjacent to the stairs...a welcome mat if you will. to steer away from being too obvious, i never poked my head out of the same window twice. got some decent kills in before someone on the other team decided to chuck a grenade through a window i wasn't currently poking my head through and boy did i walk into that one.

while the thrill of rushing around Knife Monkey'ing fools still enthralls me, a new rush of aiming for peoples temples entices me more. the best part of Sexy Camping has to be looking down the scope to find an enemy unbeknownst to them that they are mere seconds away from respawning. now i know how Barry Pepper felt up on that tower...

best match of the night, 10 - 9. i'm coming up son.

Seriously Awesome's highlights of the week

Going to start posting my dominance:

Demolition

Team Deathmatch (NUKE!)

The hard, cold world of online trash talking

Finding trash talkers on MW2 is like finding sand at the beach, they are everywhere.

Last night, NickFury immediately assessed his bad game to his "bad" teammates and the "noobish" antics of my fellow team members (OMagic with his shotgun and Muy guapo aka " I am in the Barber Shop"). When in  reality, the reason he did poorly was because I am SeriouslyAWESOME and I was on the opposite team.

Nothing is more entertaining then putting a trash talker in his place. Using the FAL throughout the game, I killed him numerous times on Estate. And to put the "noob" talks to rest about our team, I used a USP pistol towards the closing minutes of the game to make sure that the entire game room saw me, SeriouslyAWESOME, put in three shots to the dome of "NickFury" to end the game.

This is SeriouslyAWESOME who's sole mission is to seek out trash talkers (and campers/snipers) and lay them to rest as many times as possible.

And to also set off NUKES!

Signing out...

Killcam Pet Peeves Vol. 1: Heartbeat Sensors

This series of posts is a way for me to rant about the shit I HATE seeing in Killcams. I'm sure this is just the first of many volumes.

Heartbeat Sensor
I don't know why, but this annoys the shit outta me when I see this on in a Killcam. I suppose this does have a place in the game (especially for objective-based games) but in the short time I used it (during the single player campaign) I spent most of the time looking at that stupid blue screen instead of what was in front of me.

I get supremely annoyed when I'm using a class that has Ninja Pro equipped because it means that it was probably my fault that I died. I was just careless - like the one time in High Rise when I was creeping through the tunnels and walked up the stairs and straight up got shot. Now I was CLEARLY invisible on the heartbeat sensor, but I took it for granted. I didn't pay attention and a dude with a heartbeat sensor just happened to see me pop up out of nowhere. I bet you he was thinking, "aight, I'm cool here, no red dots on my scre-oh shit!" He pulls the trigger and I'm dead. Why? Because I was careless. Sure, the heartbeat sensor had NOTHING to do with him killing me, but it's just a slap to the face when I'm freaking invisible and I get killed point blank because I was too stupid to scope out the scene first.

Well, lesson learned. I don't go up those stairs anymore. I just run straight out of that middle window and try to dart all the way across to the other building. I still won't show up on the radar, but at least the heartbeat sensor guy will have to look up in front of him to see me rushing at him from afar.

Just kidding. I don't do that. You do realize that running up stairs blind and turning corners blind is just about the most retarded thing you can do in this game. Well, besides stay in the EXACT same spot after you snipe someone from afar.

inauspicious middles...

So I'm slowly and steadily creeping up to 70 (I think I'm at 62 now) and I think I'm starting to finally catch a groove. COD: MW2 is probably the first FPS I've owned since Perfect Dark on N64 and I barely even played that. So it shouldn't be a surprise that the learning curve for this game would be steep. I've put in just over 3 days worth of playing time and I'm at a level WAAAAY lower than other players who A) have regularly played FPS on consoles and especially B) ones who owned and played the first installment of Modern Warfare.

At first, I was kind of conscious about it. Although my rank said so, I didn't want to be the noob. I never wanted to use the noob tube attachment because it just screamed out well, noob. (I've since realized the sheer fun of blowing things up with Danger Close) I remember hiding out in the second floor of the corner building in Skid Row, peeking through that hole in the wall to look down the alley or through the windows down to the open area in hopes of picking off some enemies going through the transitional area. I was the guy that I now hunt when I die in that area.

I suppose them's the growing pains - the safe shallow end of the pool. Imagine me in my water wings just watching all the fun of the big boys at the deep end violently splishing and splashing about.

So now 3 days in and on the brink of my frist prestige (which I won't do, by the way), I think it's finally coming together. Sure, there are good days and bad days, but I now feel comfortable with my play style and the classes and joystick sensitivity I've set. I do tend to play on the more defensive side - more eager to flank than run into the thick of it all. I'd rather end up with a lowly 9-3 game instead of a 18-17 because I just don't like to die a lot. And since I primarily play Team Deathmatch, the less I die, the better it helps out my team.

But my fear of the deep end is waning these days. I don't mind diving in every now and again and seeing how I fare with the big boys. It's freeing in many ways to not always worry about how many times you die. Besides, how can you get better with aiming at multiple targets if you're running along the edges of the map?

Strangely enough, my kills have been rising and somehow I'm not dying as much as I think I am. I suppose my cautious play to start out definitely has a hand in that. And without getting too caught up in K/D ratios and shit, I'm seeing that number increase incrementally. And no, it's not good. But there is progress.

inauspicious beginnings...

reaching level 56 over the weekend, i have finally obtained the gold standard of Sniper rifles...the M21 EBR. while it's status as the gold standard is something i can't vouch for, it is the last Sniper rifle to be unlocked, so we'll assume Uma Thurman likes this gun to snipe Knife Monkeys with.

while i routinely achieve double digit Kills with my trusty ACR, which i have renamed the custom class as "My Girlfriend", the first match with my new found fun gun was less than stellar. i did rip one headshot off Seriously_Awesome's temple, but a 3 Kills to 12 Deaths ratio isn't something i haven't felt since my early weeks of COD. i find myself fighting old instincts now. i can't rush up on Knife Monkeys anymore, i have to patiently wait for them to come to me. i've tried rushing them with my Sniper gun with most outcomes resulting in my dying very quickly since aiming straight at them is a problem so far and i usually end up seeing blue sky in my scope.

at this rate, it's gonna take MONTHS to get my ghillie suit. well, unless i play with Seriously_Awesome each time...

welcome all ye' faithful...

and so starts the online journal of our heroic journey from simple knife monkey to sexy campers...enjoy the hilarity.