Thought I was a donut, you tried to glaze me.

click me!!!

the key to success is adaptation. when you're swimming with the currents and the currents change, you need to learn fast on how to swim against it. learning on the fly is a paramount virtue to have ready in your arsenal. fellow clan member WarlockPMD aka Ricky Rat aka Sentry Gun Killer aka I've Never Met A Sentry Gun I Didn't Want To Run Head First Into likes his Hardcore game type. i mean LOVES it. any time i hop online i'll always find him paroosing the Hardcore lobbies like the chicken hawk he is. poor Red Nose Ricky Rat, we never want to join him in his Hardcore games. but alas, last night he was the party leader and he snuck me into a game of Hardcore Domination.

i didn't panic, but i also forgot to update my load out before the match started and ran with Assassin Pro and Marksman which are virtually useless perks on Hardcore. i thought it was gonna be murder, but to my surprise murder was inflicted on all else! has a new era dawned on this nubile former sexycamper now recovering knife monkey?

I Ball So Hard, Motherfuckers Want To Fine Me.

poor little [SwaG]SSandhu15 his swag was not in full effect for this match. but enough about my BEAST MODE engaged match, what i really want to tell you about is how much i want to marry and have kids with the latest Game Mode addition to COD:MW3. the great Drop Zone! playing this game mode is like living in a Michael Bay movie. every second is intense, which coincidentally you'll receive +20 points for each second your ass is alive in the designated Drop Zone. for this iteration of COD, i've mostly played Domination for one reason or another. Team Defender is fun and so is Kill Confirmed, but for your money's worth, nothing beats the pure adrenaline rush of Drop Zone. it's fun, but it's also fair as fuck. i mean, we're winning matches with the team kill average hovering around 2 per person. 

i've also discovered another gun i love as much as my ACR, the almighty sexy MP7. i know, i know, how can you be a sexy camper with an SMG? well friends, let me introduce you to the new HAMR Scope! while nothing will ever compare to the ACOG on my EBR thrills, this might come to a close 4th. picking off hapless fools from the second floor window sure was exhilarating. to be honest, i don't run exclusively with this new scope, i did it just long enough to get my Weapons XP on, but rest assured the fun was sexy while it lasted. like my ACR, i like my MP7 blinged out with a Holographic and Silencer. and BEST FUCKING believe it's GOLD camo'd.   

so my fellow Knife Monkeys, in closing. play some Drop Zone. do mess with the MP7, it's a nice little gun. and always, always remember to SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE FACE. 

Rise of the Planet of the Knife Monkeys

And...we're BACK! 

pink cookies in a plastic bag getting crushed by buildings...

i poo poo'd SeriouslyAWESOME when he started posting screen caps of his Game Summaries. i made him promise that one screencap upload a week was his limit. when vertigoAnton joined in, i rolled my eyes. here we go i thought, here's another navel glazing blog. "great," i said under my breathe. how could we establish an objective, hard hitting blog about the amazing minutia and vast wonders of the COD:MW2 game culture if all we end up doing is sucking our own cocks?

well, here we are.

yep, read em' and weep boys. you read that correctly, 22 - zip. if vertigoAnton wasn't there on my team to witness it, even if i told myself in a afternoon dream after some really good Hurry Curry that i just ripped trough a 22-0 game...well, i would call myself a fucking liar and tell myself to wake up from my stupid dream. well suck it self, i got pics to prove the momentous occasion!

Team Death Match Express, Wasteland, Scavenger Pro, Cold Blooded, and Ninja Pro. a single 1887 as my secondary that never once saw the day of light. FMJ riding on My Wife, the EBR, since i wasn't using Stopping Power. started the match WAY slow with not getting my first kill until a full minute must have past. normally i get bored and just start running into into the death trap tunnels and get blown away after killing someone. for some reason, this time enemies kept trying to creep around corners where i could easily pick them off one by one from the edge of the map and i never had a chance to get bored and bore down the center. there was absolutely no rhyme, reason, or stra'tegery to it.

i got in the zone and once that 5 killstreak popped for my Predator, IMMEDIATELY i dropped to my belly and let that fucker fly for another kill. one away from my Harrier and vertigoAnton outright STEALS an easy kill from me. this schlub careens out of one of the death trap tunnels square right into my crosshairs before he picks him off before i can. which is fine since i'll collect my stolen kills in deaths from him six fold. but back to my torrid story, i get another kill and unleash hot Harrier death upon the other team. i swear, i have NEVER gotten so many kills so fast and my Pave Low was out at the same time literally with my Harrier. so on one end of the map: Hot Harrier Death. on the other side of the map: my EBR of Murderous Mayhem. the sweet, delicious cherry on top? my Pave Low circling around to cover any uncovered terrain raining sexy death upon my enemies who've sworn to kill me at all cost.

Priceless.

Stepping outside the world of Call of Duty

Since the release of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, I have not played much of anything else. I have played a little bit of Assassin's Creed 2, but despite how great the game is, I always find myself going back to COD. I normally go through phases where I play one game, and one game only. Before the release of the new COD, Killzone 2 was my FPS fixation. Despite how great KZ2 was, I needed something new and moved onto COD. After months of COD, I find myself looking for something new once again.

I recently downloaded the demo to Battlefield: Bad Company 2. Although both games are essentially the same genre, it is a completely different game. Battlefield supports up to 24 players and features bigger maps. It is also very focused on air and ground vehicles. The graphics are not nearly as detailed as CODs, but its mainly due to the higher amount of players, bigger maps, and destructible environments.

The way the game controls is completely different, from the aiming to the way the character moves. One of the great things about the COD is its accessibility. COD allows players, or "noobs," to jump right in without being too intimidating.

Battlefield is a little more intimidating due to the size of the maps, the vehicles and the objectives. Vehicles take time to master. The game is also heavily team-based. One person cannot simply win a match for a team. A bad thing, which can also be seen as a good thing to others, is that COD does not encourage team work. One man can simply dominate a game and win a match for an entire team. Heck, my team can be losing an objective-based game type, and if I obtain a 25 kill-streak...its a victory of my team.

One thing I have noticed by playing other online FPSs, is how much I appreciate the smoothness and feel of COD. I may not be swept off my feet with Battlefield, but I definitely enjoy the change of pace.

Next up on my list is MAG, however, I have a strong feeling that I will continue to go back to COD time and time again.

RPG FTW

"Big-ass titties!" - Danny McBride in Tropic Thunder as he sets off explosions

So I unlocked the RPG the other night and decided to give it a go after seeing this montage from SandyRavage:



You know the satisfaction of blowing fools up with the noob tube? Well, multiply that by 10 with the RPG. I don't know what it is - perhaps the weapon reminds me of 80s movies in which you see an RPG - like Red Dawn or Rambo: First Blood Part II There's just something pimpy about seeing that trail of smoke as the projectile flies all the way across the map. So I started using it a couple of nights ago and I've now racked up 77 kills with that bad boy. I realize this may not be a huge number compared to someone like SeriouslyAWESOME or OMAGIC77, but with my skill level, not bad for the first couple of nights.

There was this one Team Deathmatch game in Sub Base when I was giggling all to myself like a junior high school girl gossiping with her friends at lunch. I was getting owned in the beginning of the match, but them multi-kills just kept on coming. There were a few guys who INSISTED on running behind riot shield dude. And as they walked down death row, I was chillin' by the top of of the doorway an blasted those fools. Double kill here, triple kill there. So immensely satisfying. I ended up with a decent 17-10. Not bad since I was running around mostly with a secondary weapon with only 2 rounds (Scavenger Pro enabled, though) Sometimes I get killed while the rocket is mid-flight, but I'd still kill the guy. I'll trade 1-for-1, especially when there's a chance of a multi-kill.

And I'll tell you this much - you can use this on ANY map. The larger maps like Derail and Afghan are a challenge because the rocket seems to veer off at longer distances, but it makes long distance kills that much more satisfying. On small maps like Skid Row and High Rise, it's so fun to just shoot into a crowded room.

Now what I want to know is if there's haterdom out there for this weapon. I mean, how is this any better than noob tubing? Maybe it isn't but I just don't really hear people talk shit about the RPG. Is it because you can't hipfire it? Perhaps actually having to aim suggests that it's not as noobish?

Consistently Inconsistent

I thought I was going into the weekend with some confidence. I had a good 27-3 match late in the week and thought momentum would carry me through to some dominating matches. But like my jump shot, I can't maintain any real consistency. I'll get the hot hand one game and the next one, I'm better off passing the rock. But that shouldn't take away from some downright filthy (and in the good way) games I threw down this weekend.

Check out what I posted in Underpass on Friday afternoon:



Sorry the image isn't really straight. I was so excited and rushed to take the pic before intermission ended or the lobby closed due to shitty hosting or whatever. But can you believe that?! 24-1?! I was pitching a perfect game until the waning seconds of the match when SubjectMATT picked me off. I was shooting at him too! I did spend a good chunk of time in a room w/ a bunch of windows (camping, really) while my air support was up, but I was able to hit a few guys outside and got some lucky kills via claymore from people insisting on going into my building, either for cover or to come after me. But camping or not, the numbers are what they are and the killstreak in my barracks say 24. I was running a Pave Low so I DID kill someone with my own hand BEFORE the Pave Low did its work, guaranteeing that I avoided the bug.

I also was able to represent to the fullest with a 21-1 game this weekend thanks to my air support in Quarry. But to be fair, these were the highlights. Most of my games hovered in the 1:1 k/d ratio and in the low double-digits. And there were probably some games where I crapped myself too.

I suppose I could probably get better with my consistency if I just stuck to the same class every game. But I don't know, I like trying out new shit. Like I'll run around w/ Akimbo mini-Uzis or try using a Thumper as a secondary weapon. I just unlocked the RPG so I might mess around with that for a bit, especially after seeing fools blow shit up from all the way across the map.

More and more, playing COD is like golf. You can hook and slice your drives and approaches and you can 3-putt get get snowmen on a par 3 all day long, but all it takes it that nice and straight tee shot right down the fairway, or that one approach that lands 1.5 ft away from the pin, or that one 30-ft putt to make the day worth it. I think that 24-1 match is my hole in one. Consistency who?

SeriouslyAWESOME's seriously awesome weekend stats

 Derail - Domination

You know those games when you know your team is in trouble in the first few minutes.  In a matter of minutes, A and B were taken, and shortly after I caputured C it was gone. SeriouslyAWESOME's teammates were just running around with no purpose but to just camp in the two-story building. At that point SeriouslyAWESOME realized he must do it all himself and win this game. AND HE DID!

SeriouslyAWESOME's team was 6 points away from a loss but SeriouslyAWESOME came through in Seriously Awesome fashion. Nothing is better then getting a Nuke when your team is down and out.


 Wasteland - Domination

Another COD highlight was on Wasteland. SeriouslyAWESOME, muy-guapo and Macpito were in a closely contested match that ended 200-198. SeriouslyAWESOME would like to give props to muy_guapo for his 19-10 effort. He still kicked-ass despite playing higher ranked players.

all around the world today, the kilo is the measure...

the blessed day came so fast, i hardly had time to exhale. it might have came over the wee hours of Sunday morning, i'm not quite sure. all i have is a murky recollection of my screen flashing "Ghillies in the Mist" after drilling macpito in the face. so after a full week with the EBR and 364 confirmed Kills i now walk around proudly in my Chewbacca suit. damn it feels good to be a gangster.

by all accounts i think i "turned the corner" as vertigoanton would say around the end of the week sometime when i tallied 26 kills in one match. while breaking the double digit kill mean is good, but not great; breaking through the arduous 20 kill mean is simply heroic. dropping 20 on the enemy means you did work son. another signal i've become very comfortable with the EBR is the 3 Pave Lows i was able to call in this weekend which i haven't regularly seen in my airspace during matches since my ACR Knife Monkey days. as a cherry on top moment over the weekend, i was awarded a killer Kill Cam of me on Quarry camping on top of the tallest red building picking off an enemy running east west. BAM! Sexy Camper has ARRIVED!

I See You

As difficult as it was to grow accustomed to the fine motor skills required to perform well at the glory that is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, I struggled most with quickly locating and identifying enemies. Unless they were right in front of me, I had a difficult time determining if this small dark blotch on the screen was something that I should shoot at. Of course, by the time I made the decision to pull the trigger, then I was dead. This is why I absolutely LOATHED the Underpass map. It was raining and murky and I couldn't see shit. Over time, I got a little bit better spotting enemies and while my aim was still shoddy, at least I knew that I was supposed to be shooting at it.

About a month passes and I had an epiphany. I turned on my Sony 37" Bravia XBR and immediately went into the setup options. Now for anyone that has purchased a TV in the last few years, you know there are various default color/picture settings as well as the option for adjusting your own - kind of like the classes in the game. To my dismay and embarrassment, I noticed that my picture settings for that HDMI input were set to "Cinema" which actually makes the images DARKER. On top of that, I had not enabled the "Game" setting, which supposedly optimizes the image for gaming.

So for an entire month, I was at a disadvantage. Of course I'm using incorrect settings as an excuse. Why? Because once I had changed these settings, I started seeing everything better. On Wasteland, figures seemed more defined as they run up and down the rolling terrain. Figures began to take a bit more shape in windows now. Underpass still sucks but it's much better now. And as a bonus, my eyes aren't straining so much anymore.

I can't help but wonder if I could've improved at a quicker rate IF my setup was optimized in the beginning. I mean, I had been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum (a game I swore I would finish before starting another game - until Dave got me COD:MW2 for my birthday) and I just figured it SHOULD look dark. And now that the image is crisp and clear, I'm like Jake Sully to Neytiri, "I See You....beeyotch!"